My father-in-law was a member of the “Greatest Generation” – that generation of hardy, brave, unwavering, resourceful, dedicated, totally inspirational men and women who persevered through the great depression, then fought for the world in the 2nd World War.
After the Greatest Generation, came the “Silent Generation.” Those people were born between 1925-1942. My own parents and my mom-in-law are from that generation. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why these people would be called “The Silent Generation,” but there you have it.
Next we come to the “Baby Boomers.” This baby boom has been described as a “shockwave” or an incredible influx in the birthrate as people returned from the war. This generation includes those who were born during the years of 1946 through the early 1960s. This generation rejected the traditional values of their parents. They were the “hippies” who wanted to make love- not war – they were anti-government and anti-establishment, and they wanted to stick it to “the man,” that is until they realized that they needed the man to pay their wages so they could afford to buy a house and live the American dream. They are also the ones who run our government now, by the way.
I am right on the cusp of the Baby Boomer Generation and Generation X. Those born in the early 1960s thru the 80s are part of a generation that is hard to define. We are the last generation to go to the library for information or to research a topic. We are the last generation to drive somewhere without a cellphone, or to get lost while driving without a cellphone ad have to stop at a gas stations to buy a map! We are the last generation to hear the immortal words from our parents, “Look it up in the dictionary,” rather than “Google it.” We are also the last generation to be more comfortable with handwritten notes when we want to communicate true concern and to use words rather than emoticons. We also love real, bound books that you can hold in your hand and smell!
After this “xed-out” generation, we come to the “millennials,” those born in the early 80’s to the early 2000’s. The older members of this generation remember life before the internet, but barely! They are the ones we need to find an app or tweet or I.M., or Instagram, or when Syrie is being obstinate and you want to disable her or call her a bad name!!!! Millennials start twitching if they have to go for more than a few minutes being unplugged. They know that the world is at their finger-tips, and they can find any information in seconds.
In the past 6 years or so, our tiny church acquired a number of young families. I remember thinking it was very odd that so many of these young adults were looking at their phones during the service. While the rest of us (older folks) were following along in our Bibles, these millennials were reading text messages or something! How rude! Then I found out that they were…. Yes…. Looking at their Bible app! I had to make myself understand that that’s okay. Really! I’m cool with it!
There’s a generation that comes after the millennials, but they don’t have a specific name yet, and since it includes my grandchildren, I’ll just refer to the as the “Precious Generation.”
No matter what generation you belong to at this time, there is one generation that we all have belonged to or will belong to, and that is the “Sandwich Generation.” You are a member of the Sandwich Generation when you find yourself still caring for you children, but find that you are increasingly needing to care for your parents as well. I’ve been sandwiched for about 10 years now. My youngest daughter was still in high school when my husband and I started caring for his parents. Now that my father-in-law is gone, we care for Mom full time. Last week, I left Ventura County at 6am on Tuesday, drove to Orange County to see my parents and bring them some meals, drove to Chino Hills in the afternoon so I could take care of my grandchildren and give my daughter and her husband a much needed date night. I woke up the next morning, had a quick breakfast with the family, then got back on the freeway and headed north so I could be back in Oxnard in time to bring Mom her noon meal. She lives 2 doors down from us, which is such a blessing! We use a baby monitor in her house and ours so we can hear her. Some nights, after we have tucked Mom in for the night, you’ll find my husband and me huddled around the baby monitor:
“Did you hear that?”
“It sounded like she coughed! Do you think she’s okay? Should I go over there? No, let’s just wait – see if she goes back to sleep. Wait! What’s that?! Oh, she’s coming down the hallway! What’s she doing out of bed? She’s opening cupboards in the kitchen! Oh! She’s after the cookies! I told her she could only have 3 a day! She better brush her teeth! What are we going to do with her???
Yes, you think it’s funny, but just you wait – or maybe you have the right to laugh. We who have been, or are now sandwiches, can laugh. We have to or we’ll go crazy. There are plenty of times when caring for a parent is not funny at all. Like when your husband’s brother calls his mom to say that he’s going to come visit, and she tells him (as you’re sitting with her, doing a puzzle),
“Good,” (she says, sounding dramatic,) “because I’m so lonely here. Mark and Maureen don’t have any time for me!”
It’s not funny when you have a sick daughter who needs you and your own parents are struggling to get through the day, and your other daughter is being contacted by the IRS, and your mom-in-law is telling other family members that you won’t let her get out of bed for fear she’ll fall – not true! I tell her all the time she must use her legs before she loses the use of her legs! Some days you’re just being pulled in every direction, and elderly friends at church need meals and young mommies need a break, and you know that if one more person calls or texts, you’re just going to lose your stuffing!
But you know what? You won’t lose your stuffing because you remember that the Lord is your strength, and you look to the Lord for wisdom. Then, you call your daughter’s pastor and ask him to send helping hands to your daughter, then you ask your husband to change his schedule so he can care for his mother while you go and help your parents for the day. As for the IRS mess…… I haven’t figured that one out yet, but there will be a lot of prayers for mercy! After all, what can the government do to us? Hah!
Surviving the Sandwich 