Category: Breast Cancer,

Posted in Adaptive Clothing, Bedridden, Breast Cancer,, Caretaker, DIY Hospital Gown, Elderly, Hospice, incontinence, Sickness

DIY Nightgown for Bedridden or Hospice

Posted on by Maureen

I decided to modify all of Mom’s nightgowns to make it easier for changing since she is bedridden. (I know we’re supposed to use the term “non-ambulatory” now, but for my purposes, this works better 😉  I used to have to change Mom’s gown with every diaper (please don’t get mad at me for calling them diapers instead of “incontinence wear!”) change, and let me tell you, that is not easy with one who is bedridden! Now, because she’s not sitting on the gown, it stays dry. She can even sit in her easy chair, and no one can tell that her gown is open in the back. I tie it closed with ribbons. I researched buying “Adaptive Gowns” but they always have an overlap in the back. That would defeat my purpose of keeping the gown dry. Also, I couldn’t find any that I liked as well as the gowns Mom has.

You can do the same thing for men using a comfortable shirt. When my father-in-law was put on hospice, I cut the back of his flannel shirts. He was so much warmer and they looked much better than hospital gowns.

Because I have a serger, making these modifications literally takes me under 10 minutes. If you don’t have a serger, just hem the cut sides. It will take a little longer, but not much.  Here’s how to do it in 3 easy steps:

  1. Take a comfortable gown or robe, lay it out on a table and cut right up the back. Don’t be afraid! It’s so worth it!
  2. Serge or hem the cut sides.
  3. Cut two 16″ lengths of cloth or silk ribbon. Line up one end of the ribbon with the top of the finished edge and zigzag stitch back and forth several times. Fold the ribbon back on itself and zigzag again. Tie knots on the other end of the ribbon so it doesn’t fray in the wash. I haven’t tried using velcro instead of ribbon, but I’m sure it would work.
This shows the flannel nightgown before I cut it.
Lay the gown out on table or cutting board and cut right up the back.
Don’t be afraid! Cut it!
Serge or hem the edges
Cut 2 16″ lengths of cloth or satin ribbon
On the inside, line up the end of the ribbon with the top of the gown. Do a bunch of zigzag stitches back and forth. Then fold the ribbon back and do more stitches.
This is the finished gown shown from the back.
Finished gown.
Happy Mom in her pretty nightie!
Posted in Ageism, Breast Cancer,, Caretaker, Elderly, HMO, Hospice, Sickness, Widow

When is One Too Old?

Posted on by Maureen

A year ago I started asking Mom’s doctors to find out why her abdomen was getting so big. “Will you please order a scan?” I asked her oncologist at her 1 year check up after her mastectomy.

“For what purpose?” he said. “You’re not going to put her through surgery if we do find something.”

In the next several months, I asked 2 other doctors to check on her tummy. No one wanted to touch her. Finally, I got someone to listen to me, and she ordered an ultrasound. The doctor called as soon as we arrived home from having the imaging.  She told me that Mom had a “mass” the size of a football in her abdomen, and it looked “nefarious.”  Several weeks later Mom had a CT-scan and three different doctors said that a woman her age (90 years old) was definitely not a candidate for surgery. We decided to put Mom on hospice.

What would have happened if the first doctor I asked about Mom’s big tummy would have checked for a tumor a year ago? Would we have pushed for surgery? She made it through a mastectomy at the age of 88 like a champ. The tumor would have been much smaller and manageable, right? Maybe it’s a mercy that we didn’t have a diagnosis earlier. It was hard enough to get Mom’s HMO to consent to the mastectomy even though she had a very aggressive form of breast cancer. “She’s worth saving!” I cried out of frustration to a friend when I described the “hands off” attitude of all the medical personnel in Mom’s HMO. My husband and I have the same HMO. At what age do they start deciding that one’s life is not valuable? I’m 58 and Mark is 62. How much longer do we have before they start shoving a DNR form in our faces every time we go to the doctor?

Please excuse me if I sound a little cynical.

Posted in Breast Cancer,, Caretaker, Death and Dying, Elderly, Sickness, Widow

Where O’ Death is thy Sting?

Posted on by Maureen

I found this unpublished draft just now. I started writing it 2 years ago when we found out that Mom had breast cancer:

Mom doesn’t usually make it to church on Sunday, but this Easter Sunday she was determined. I was helping her get dressed, and when I pulled her nightie over her head, I noticed a quarter-sized discoloration and puckering on her breast. Not wanting to call attention to it before the service, I quieted my fears and helped her fasten her bra.

As my husband preached that morning, I thought about the secret I was keeping from him, and I prayed for his mom and him. He’s such a good son. He cares deeply for his mom and treats her with such love and respect. He was so happy to have her in church that morning, and she just glowed with love as she listened to her son tell about the Risen Savior.

I didn’t know what the days ahead would hold, but my husband’s words from the pulpit reminded me that I could put all this in God’s Hands. When the last hymn was announced, I helped Mom get to her feet, and she sang with all of us, strong and sure:

Lo! Jesus meets us, risen from the tomb; lovingly he greets us, scatters fear and gloom; Let the church with gladness, hymns of triumph sing, for her Lord now liveth,                      Death hath lost its sting.

Thine be the glory, risen conquering Son;                                                                                            Endless is the victory, thou o’er death hast won!